Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Michelle Duggar: A Happy Wife is a Submissive Wife

Regular readers of P.O.V. know the Duggars are a reoccurring subject. They seem like such lovely people, but at the same time I don't understand many of their core beliefs.

Take, for example, the case of being a submissive wife. Michelle Duggar was in the news -- yes, again -- for recently offering advice on a healthy marriage. According to the story, she was distributing pamphlets providing tips on how to be a submissive wife.

The tips included never reminding your husband of past failures because it would crush his spirit, to looking at him with admiration when he talks and to accept him as the leader.

Now, the Duggars have never been accused of being advocates for women's rights, but that the same time, prior to this, they also have never been accused of pushing their views on others.

One online comment read, "I feel that Michelle is sending out all the wrong messages to young woman and girls."

Another, however, stated, "I think Michelle is right on. ... I found when I started yielding more to my husband, he changed for the better, too."

I agree with the former. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. One spouse should not be the leader and the other the follower. They should make decisions jointly. Also, are men such fragile creatures that their wives must be careful not to damage their egos? Of course, not. So why must a wife be careful what she says and always look at her men with admiration?

What do you think? Is Michelle Duggar correct or way off base?


  1. I think she's way off base. Especially if she deems it a priority to stare up at your husband as if he holds your every thought in his hand. The main problem with this 'submissive' kind of teaching, especially to young women, is the fact it could lead to spousal abuse. Once you make anyone the leader (male or female) without question to their methods of ruling, you open the gates to tyranny and horror.

    In her female world, if she wants to be quiver maker for the rest of eternity with out regard to her health, those of her infants, or the quality of life for her other children then have at it. To push those beliefs on others well that's another story. It took a lot of work and the death of many women to get where we as women are today. Basically, I just wouldn't touch her silly pamphlet.

  2. There has to be a balance. In a perfect world we would all be tactful. But to stare at someone like they are sitting on top of a rainbow every time they speak(admiration/adoration?) is a bit unreasonable. I think...just tactful. No matter who you are speaking to, we have to treat others the way we want to be treated. By the way,I am curious to know if there was so much emphasis placed on the way husbands speak to their wives as well.

  3. I think it works for THEM. However I also think the hidden key to all marriages like HERS that WORK are that the husband is totally in touch with his wife and knows what she might want. So he also does not want to trample on her views either. She may not wield a sword while ordering him about but I would guess that if she really needs something he would do it. On the same token I believe that if they disagreed about something they would probably have a polite pros and cons discussion about it similar to the way my husband and I do. I doubt very much that she just stands around receiving orders and saying nothing.

    Being submissive is letting your husband be the head of the house, being a helper not ordering him around like a slave :)

    As I said before... it works for HER. I do try to be mostly submissive though I may want things 'my' way occasionally *blush*. We discuss things and I always make sure he approves before we head forward with something... but he also seeks out my approval too-> Its not necessary to be bossy. no one likes a bossy wife OR husband. Mr. Dugger does not seem like the bossy or domineering type rather the cooperative yet leaderly type :)

    As for reminding ANYONE of past failures... this sounds like it was meant to warn wives against -rubbing a man's failures in his face- and I agree... this is unkind no matter if you are male or female :)

  4. Considering Mrs. Duggar's opinion is in line with the Bible, I'd have to say she is right.

    Mrs P

    1. Mrs P., the bible was written over 2,000 years ago by men. Women's rights have advanced considerably since that time.

  5. Maybe the fact that you don't believe in the Biblical principals set forth by God is why you do not understand the concept of being a loving help-meet to a husband who is to love you as Christ loved the church. The husband has the responsibility to care for his wife and when he does what he should, submitting to his leadership, which is a form of partnership, is easy and joy-filled.

    1. The books that appear in the bible were selected by a council of men centuries ago. If the books in the bible were selected by God then how do you explain the Gnostic books?

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