Divorce Rates: Don’t Become a Statistic

Nearly 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce.  But this is just an average.  The divorce rates for first marriages, for example, is lower than the divorce rate for third marriages.  In addition, childless couples have a higher divorce rate than couples with children.

According to Divorce Guide.com, the top 10 causes of divorce are communication issues, money, adultery, wrong expectations, lack of commitment, addictions, sex, midlife crisis, little annoyances and ease of divorce.

So what can be done  to prevent you from becoming a divorce statistic?

Keep the lines of communication open:  Discuss problems as they arise so they don’t fester and turn into much larger issues later.  Avoiding problems does not make them disappear.

Make time for your spouse:  This includes taking time out of your schedules to spend time together.  It also means taking time for intimacy and sex.

You both need to work at it:  Marriage only works if both partners are equally committed to its success.  Remember marriage is a partnership.

Money leads to stress:  It doesn’t matter whether it is a lack of finances or the overzealous pursuit of it, money can lead to stress which in turn puts a strain on a marriage. 

Seek counseling:  If marriage problems get to the point that they cannot be resolved at home, it’s time to seek professional help.

Marriage is a two-way street and it takes hard work on both parties to make it successful.

11/29 Poll: Is Fox News Really Fair and Balanced?

This week's Tuesday poll question is is Fox News really fair and balanced?

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

The results of last week's poll were published Nov. 28.   View results.

What Readers are Thankful For

On Nov. 15, the poll of the week asked, "what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving". Three readers responded. Here are their responses.

"My friends and family. And, my blogging buddies."

"My blessings."

"That I am able to provide for my family."

Although this poll is now closed, it's not too late to share what you are thankful for this year. Please leave a comment.

Happy Thanksgiving

To all of my American readers, fans and followers,

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving.

New P.O.V. posts resume Nov. 28.

Take the Thanksgiving poll.

Stereotypes Harm Everyone

Recently Forbes published a list of stereotypes, which are commonly applied to powerful women.

The article states, "While male leaders are allowed to have complex personalities, powerful women are often summed up by hackneyed stereotypes that undermine them and their power."

The list includes the following stereotypes, each of which has been experienced by a real life woman in power.

1. Ice queen
2. Single and lonely
3. Tough
4. Weak
5. Masculine
6. Conniving
7. Emotional
8. Angry
9. A token
10. A cheerleader

Stereotypes from by-gone eras still remain. We hear them all the time when it comes to gender, race, religious affiliation, profession and the list goes on. Change is slow, but I firmly think people who believe stereotypes are harmed by them just as much, if not more, than the people they hold the belief about. Why? Because they judge groups as a whole without getting to know individuals. Instead of finding out the truth for themselves, they take the stereotype as fact. As a society we cannot evolve if can't move past judging others for superficial reasons.

Have you ever been the victim of a stereotype?

Source: 10 worst stereotypes about powerful women

Younger Americans Getting Deeper Into Debt

So much for the myth that each generation in the United States does better than the previous one. So much, too, for the myth that the elderly are poor and youth have growing incomes.

According to census data released last week, households headed by people age 65 and older have a net worth 47 times greater than households headed by people age 35 and younger -- $170,494 versus $3,662. Net worth is determined by taking the value of a household's property, processions and savings then subtracting mortgages, loans and credit card bills.

Why such a huge gap, the widest it has ever been? Part of it has to do with home values, but a significant portion has to do with the debt held by younger Americans. Younger Americans have been crippled by unemployment while, at the same time, holding student loan bills and credit card debt.

This is a problem which has been growing for years. Creditors have made it easy for college students, and others who otherwise would be uncreditworthy, to get credit cards. Minimum payments can be as low as $10 whereas late fees can be as high as $35 dollars and interest rates can be as high as 25 percent, if not higher. Our schools do not do an adequate job of teaching real world mathematics. There are classes that teach how to determine the volume of a cylinder, but not classes about compound interest and how to balance a checkbook.

Parents have done an equally inadequate, if not downright horrible, job of teaching their children how to save money and watch their spending. Many of them accrued debt themselves during the 1980s and 90s, the exact time when the under-35 demographic was growing up, and were unable to teach their children what they themselves couldn't understand.

If this trend continues, today's children will grow up believing it is okay to buy what you can't afford and to not save money. And the wealth gap between older Americans and younger ones will continue to grow.

Source: U.S. young-old wealth gap worse than ever

11/15-11/27 Poll of the Week: What Are You Thankful For?

This week's Tuesday poll question is what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

The results of last week's poll are below.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Last week's question: Why is cancer on the rise?

Results: Larger population equals more cases 0%, Thanks to antibiotics people don't die of communicable diseases 0%, Environmental pollutants 33%, Other 67%

A Family Searches for the Truth

One family is still searching for answers.

More than a year and a half after the death of 21-year-old Julia Sumnicht, charges have not been filed and her case is not yet closed. Sumnicht was a student and an aspiring model and sports announcer. One night she met a photographer at a South Beach, FL, nightclub. Later, they were caught on surveillance tapes entering the parking lot of the condo the photographer shared with Jason Itzler, a self-proclaimed king of pimps who is facing a felony charge for selling drugs and promoting prostitution.

The next day Sumnicht was found dead. An autopsy showed she had a high level of GHB, the date rape drug, in her system but very little alcohol. Itzler admits to taking GHB that night but says he did not give any to Sumnicht.

The Sumnichts are hoping someone will be held accountable for their daughter's death. In addition, they want to spread the word about the dangers of GHB.

Unfortunately, Sumnicht's case is not unique. Other aspiring models have been murdered or disappeared after meeting with people whom they considered to be legitimate photographers or talent agents. The young women assume they are getting their big break, but instead they are putting themselves in a dangerous situation.

We must warn our daughters to be cautious and protect themselves. No legitimate business professional will ask to meet a client at a club instead of an office and no legitimate business professional will take a client home. They must also be careful to watch their drinks, to accept drinks only from a bartender or waitress and to never go to a bar or club alone.

Empowering our daughters with street smarts might ultimately save their lives.

Source: Date rape drug death: Family still seeks clues

No Wonder Men Love Football

Chances are you or someone in your household will be watching a football game this weekend. Over recent years football has increased in popularity. Why? Could it have something to do with the subliminal messages viewers are receiving.

Don't know what I mean, check out this list of sexually suggestive football terms:

• ball carrier
• ball security
• box
• bust
• hand off
• inside of the movement of the ball between players
• man coverage
• motion
• package
• penetration
• play action
• position
• pump fake
• red zone
• run out of the gun
• sack
• stiff arm
• tight end
• touchback
• under center
• upman
• wide receiver

No wonder men -- and some women -- love the game so much. It reminds them of their favorite activity.

Source: Glossary of American football

Cleaning Commercials Still Aimed at Women

Baby look how far we've come. But not far enough. Ever take the time to pay attention to television commercials for cleaning products? Despite women's lib and man becoming a woman's partner not her master, these commercials are still aimed at women.

Generally, these ads fall into two categories.

The first category is the harried mom who must clean her home quickly, yet efficiently. Because, by all means, if one is a woman she must automatically be a wife and mother. She cleans with a smile on her face, knowing she is making her family happy.

The second category is the working woman who has little time to clean. She needs great cleaning products because she is juggling both work and home. Again, the assumption is that all women are wives and mothers.

In both types of commercials, if men are shown at all, they are presented as husbands. Men and children are either shown as the ones making the messes or sitting back and doing nothing while mom cleans. They are never shown helping out.

Commercials for food products follow a similar pattern. Yet commercials for diapers and toys show both men and women actively engaged in parenting. Is this how advertisers look at the modern family? That both parents raise the children, but women are still the ones stuck cleaning the homes and making the meals? Clearly advertisers are still living in the 1950s. Let's hope they enter the 21st century soon.

11/8 Poll of the Week: Why is Cancer on the Rise?

This week's Tuesday poll question is why is cancer on the rise?

The results of last week's poll are below.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Last week's question: How religious are you?

Results: I attend religious services at least once a week 50%, I'm spiritual but don't belong to an organized religion 0%, I have not spiritual/religous beliefs 0%, Other 50%

King of Commentary Dies

As the author of a commentary blog, I would be amiss if I failed to mention the death of the king of commentary, Andy Rooney who died Friday at age 92.

Rooney started out his television career as a writer, working behind the scenes, before moving in front of the camera. He became famous for his commentary spots at the end of 60 Minutes. As with any good commenter he spoke his mind regardless of whether it was politically correct or not. On more than one occasion, his words were deemed controversial or resulted in hate mail, but this didn't stop him from saying what he felt. It also didn't stop him from being gracious to his opponents

The mark of a good commenter is to speak the truth as one sees it no matter the consquences. But it's also knowing how to debate, not argue, with those of hold the opposing view, it's knowing how to handle criticism and it's feeling confident in one's personal beliefs.

I can only hope to someday have a writing career as lengthy and renowned.

What are your thoughts on Andy Rooney's passing?

Source: Andy Rooney dead at 92

Long Rule the Queen

Women have made strides in Britain, if only a symbolic one. In late October, a change in British law means first born girls have a right to the throne even if they have a younger brother.

Prime Minister David Cameron said, "The idea that a younger son should become monarch instead of an elder daughter simply because he is a man. ... This way of thinking is at odds with the modern countries that we have become."

While I applaud the British for making this change, it is a bit of an ironic one. The two longest reigning monarchs, both in modern times and over all, have been women. Queen Victoria reigned for nearly 64 years and Queen Elizabeth II has reigned for 59 years and counting. Both took the throne in a time when a woman was expected to be a wife and a mother and not much else. If it weren't for the contributions of these women would the law have been changed?

Some may say it doesn't matter who succeeds the thrown because the role of the monarch in modern times is merely a symbolic one, but it is the principle of thing. By changing the law, it is on public record that a woman has the same rights and privileges to rule as a man. Long rule the queen.

Source: Girls given equal rights to British throne under law changes

   

Queen Victoria  Source:  public domain photos

Queen Elizabeth II  Source:  NASA/Bill Ingalls

Straight Talk to Parents

The following post was written by a guest blogger. It's views do not necessarily reflect the views of P.O.V.

Straight Talk to Parents by Tracy Schutz

Oh, if the walls in your teacher workrooms could talk! What would your's say about "those kind of parents"? You've all probably seen the emails or heard the YouTube recordings of the school voice mail that prompts parents to choose options of making excuses for their children or cursing out the teacher, etc.  What do teachers really want parents to know? I will tell you, and maybe some parents will read this as well!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find out what it means to me

Your child has the right to learn, not the right to disrupt, disrespect or be defiant.

Since when is it okay for a child to talk back to an adult? What happened to the great adage "respect your elders"?   I grew up in a very contemporary, sarcasm-filled, Dad-cursed-like-sailor type home, and I knew not to be disrespectful to adults -- ever. Why? Because I was taught manners by my parents. This is your job, parents. Children are being raised by teachers more and more and then we're questioned when we dare to discipline your child, because you don't have enough gumption to.

Teachers are not friends with students and neither should you be. Friendly is one thing; no discipline and hands-off parenting is entirely another.

We know that there are rough patches in life. But please don't blame your child's misbehavior or lack of effort on excuses like you're working two jobs, your divorce three years ago was bad or "she acts the same way at home". Man up and take care of business. Life sucks sometimes, but it doesn't mean you can crap out on parenthood and then expect genius results out of your child and be angry with teachers when that doesn't happen.

America's Teacher of the Year and Oprah Winfrey "Phenomenal Man," Ron Clark, points out in an article on CNN.com, "Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic." I couldn't agree more!

We do like what we do and, yes, there are other careers out there for us. We know we get summers off; please don't keep reminding us. Do you know that we don't get paid for those summers and we are mostly 10 month employees? Do you also know that many of us have second and/or summer jobs because our pay is not equal to our private company peers with the same education and same level of experience? Yet, we still continue with this profession -- we are professionals right? -- in the hopes of educating a child.

S-U-P-P-O-R-T: Many of you do know, and I thank you

Thank you to those parents who do support us; those who understand school is more important than baseball practice (news flash to others: I highly doubt your son will be the next Babe Ruth so, yes, homework is more important); those who understand that when a teacher contacts the parents, there is a problem and it needs to be addressed; those who volunteer even a fraction of time to check their child's agenda, book bag, notebooks to see what's going on in class; those who do read material that comes home from school and those who take the time to check the teachers' websites that we maintain to help you and your child.

Thank you to those parents who raise their children to say please and thank you.

Thank you to those who raise their children to know that it's not ok to leave garbage on the floor just because a custodian works at their school.

Thank you to those parents who know that we are not out "to get your child" and that we do not have a "personality conflict" with your child. We do not have the time, energy or inclination to deal with such pettiness.

Parents, please, just be on our side. We are genuinely on your child's side every day, seven hours a day for 180 days a year.

Tracy Schutz is a veteran middle school teacher with a passion for all things educational, including building teacher communities online, resources and technology. She lives in the North-Metro Atlanta area with her husband, two children and a chocolate lab. When not teaching (and learning!), you can find her blogging at http://www.dedication2education.com/wordpress or at http://www.hubpages.com/dedication2ed.

Family More Than Blood

What would you do if you found out your child wasn't your child? That's exactly what happened to two Russian mothers.

One of the mothers sought a DNA test on her daughter when her ex-husband refused to pay child support, saying he didn't believe he was the child's father. Tests revealed not only was he not the father but the girl wasn't the mother's child either.

The mother remembered another woman giving birth at the same time she did. With the help of the police, she was able to track down the other family. Test revealed their daughters had been accidently switched while in the hospital.

The girls, who are 12 years old, have opted to stay with the families who were raising them and are now best friends.

Cases like this prove the bonds of family are based both on blood but also on emotional connections we make throughout our lives.

Watch video.

Source: Switched at Birth Girls Want to Stay with Wrong Moms

11/1 Poll of the Week: How Religious Are You?

This week's Tuesday poll question is how religious are you?

The results of last week's poll are below.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Last week's question: Do you believe in ghots and the paranormal?

Results:   Yes 50%, No 25%, Undecided 25%